Questions to ask your spouse
The long marriage kind of questions — the ones that get lost between the school run and the laundry. A calm deck for the two of you, whenever you have twenty quiet minutes.
How full is your cup lately — and what's been filling or draining it?
✦A gentle deck for two. Take them slowly — there is no scoreboard.
Three steps
Pick a theme
Us right now, between the two of us, money, closeness, family and home, or the road ahead.
Draw a card
Take turns answering. Listening is half the point.
Come back next season
Answers change as a marriage does. Some cards are worth drawing again next year.
Questions for a long marriage
Long marriages drift into logistics: who is picking up whom, what is for dinner, which bill is due. These questions are for the conversations that get crowded out.
They are original to lovepsychic.me and written to be asked kindly. If a topic keeps getting stuck, that is a good thing to bring to a counsellor.
Questions people ask
What are good questions to ask your spouse?
Questions about how things feel now — “What season do you feel our marriage is in right now?” — tend to open more than questions about the past.
How often should married couples do a check-in?
Many couples find a short weekly or monthly check-in helps. The deck works well for exactly that.
Are there questions for before marriage too?
Yes — see our list of questions to ask before marriage.